Naima checks out Johnny Depp’s latest effort and seems less than impressed.
Stars: Johnny Depp, John Turturo
Ok, so I loooove Johnny Depp. I have been a fan of his since 21 Jump Street, when I thought Richard Greico was just as cute. (Have you seen him lately? Ew!). So that goes to show how long I have been following the illustrious Mr. Depp’s career. As far as I can tell, I have seen every movie he’s ever been in. And until now, his mere presence has saved the most doomed of enterprises (if you’ve seen Pirates of the Caribbean, you know what I mean). I have to tell ya, though… I could have gladly skipped this snooza. All I can say is “blah blah, blah blah blah…. BORING!”.
For a movie involving psycho stalkers, murder mysteries and hot talented actors, you’d think they could come up with something kinda sorta interesting, maybe? Sadly, no. John Turturo as John Shooter, the psycho stalker was, well… boring. “Fix my story, or I’ll kill you” just doesn’t deliver the same thrill the 35th time around. And the fact that I can’t even remember the names of the rest of characters illustrates their crucial roles in the plot.
Good ol’ Johnny was great, as usual, but even the best of them need something to work with. Even so, he held strong as the only redeeming factor in this lame flick. I guess I should have known Stephen King has been milked dry for quite some time now.
If you are tempted to see this movie because you just can’t get enough Johnny Depp, consider rewatching one of his old classics… I highly recommend Dead Man (1995), What’s Eating Gilbert Grape? (1993), and Cry Baby(1990). And of course the Tim Burton/Johnny Depp colaborations are not to be missed.
In conclusion… Depp: good…. Secret Window: bad. Thank you, good night.
-NW