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Naima says: “I remember learning about the Iliad in high school, but nobody ever told me the Trojan War was so damn sexy!” (that’s if you like the idea of Brad Pitt in a skirt.) Stars: Brad Pitt, Eric Bana, Orlando Bloom Between Brad Pitt showing up to half his scenes butt-nekkid (sweet!) and the micro-mini-skirts favored by the Greeks, I haven’t seen this much man-ass since the plumber came by to the unclog the kitchen sink. Yes, this one is for the ladies and the guys who like guys, or anyone who really enjoys a nice glamour shot of Brad Pitt sponging down his naked sweaty torso. If you’re one of those straight guys who thinks seeing a man’s ass makes you gay, and that really freaks you out, I would suggest you stay away from this flick altogether. Okay, that being said, Troy is actually a good movie, and not just for us Brad Pitt fans. Director Wolfgang Peterson (The Perfect Storm) spared no expense bringing Homer’s epic to the big screen. The shots of the Greek army sailing across the Aegean are worth the price of admission alone, not to mention the Dolby surround-sound battles in all their Technicolor glory. Everyone knew how to act and the dialog was good enough. Peter O’Toole was fantastic as Priam. His bone-chilling horrified old-man stare was perfect for a king watching his kingdom burn to the ground around him. Eric Bana as Hector was deftly understated, contrasting nicely with Achilles’ alpha male posturing. They could have done a better job casting Helen. German model Diane Kruger was beautiful, to be sure, but there were other chicks in the same movie that were hotter than her. If you’re going to play the woman whose face launched a thousand ships, you better be pretty damn smokin’. At the very least, you have to be hotter than the chick standing next to you. Over all, Troy more than fulfills its summer movie duties: lots of big-name actors, smash! bang! battle scenes, evil villains and hot muscle-y heroes. And like all summer movies, you definitely don’t want to miss this one while it’s in the theaters. The DVD just won’t do it justice. Myself, I’m waiting for the “Men of the Trojan War” calendar to come out. Hel-lo Mr. June. -NW