Random fact: apparently, Director Mr. Yimou sold his own blood to buy his first camera. You know this guy’s feelin’ his job.

Directed by Zhang Yimou
Starring Takeshi Kaneshiro, Andy lau and Ziyi Zhang

Anyway, Daggers is set in 859AD during the decline of the Tang Dynasty. House of Flying Daggers is the rebel army bent on destroying the ever-weakening Tang Dynasty.

Mei, played by Ziyi Zhang, is an undercover House of Flying Daggers assassin who is being pursued by both Jin (Takeshi Kaneshiro) and Leo (Andy lau), two Tang Dynasty soldiers.

After fights in the whorehouse, fights in the bamboo field and fights in the snow, we almost finally get to see Ziyi Zhang naked. But, alas, we don’t. Instead, we bare witness to the longest ending of a film in 2004.

Those of you who are familiar with Mr. Yimou’s earlier works such as Shanghai Triad, will know that he loves incorporating beautiful, conflicted, women in his movies.  In Triad ,the lovely Gong Li was the resident hottie, this time around in Daggers it’s Ziyi Zhang.  She was the young ass-kicker ready for the big leagues in Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon.

Daggers starts off beautifully but ends miserably. The story of Mei, Jin and Leo’s love triangle could have been a masterpiece. It certainly starts off that way. But instead, it ends like a bad remake of an old fairy tale in some shit-hole indie theater in Pittsburgh.

The first hour was worth watching, then my ADD ass was ready for the 7th inning stretch.  “Where’s the beer?” I asked myself. Seriously though, when the hell is America gonna wake up to the fact that we ALL want bars in movie theaters? At least a better food selection for christ sake.

It’s a rental folks.